Navigating Uncomfortable Conversations: Insights from a Motivational Speaker
As I sat down with Rayna Rose Exelbierd for this podcast episode, I was immediately struck by her infectious energy and passion for spreading kindness and connection.
From her experiences growing up as the youngest in a family of four siblings to her journey as a motivational speaker and author, Rayna's insights into navigating uncomfortable conversations offer invaluable lessons for all of us.
She believes in the power of kindness and connection to drive positive change in the world. Even when it means stepping into uncomfortable territory, advocating for what’s right is crucial, especially for women and girls who may feel pressured to conform to societal norms of being "nice."
Rayna’s awareness around uncomfortable conversations began to unfold when she experienced antisemitism in college.. Initially, her response was emotional, but she soon realized the importance of staying calm and composed. This approach not only fostered meaningful dialogue but also garnered respect from those observing the conversations.
In addition to having a calm presence, Rayna spoke about the importance of timing. Whether in personal or professional settings, responding to conflict with clarity and emotional stability is key to productive communication. She stressed the need for intentional listening as a precursor to effective dialogue, citing instances where it enabled her to connect with others on a deeper level.
Another impactful lesson Rayna shared was about the need to have uncomfortable conversations with young people. She recounted instances where she addressed sensitive issues such as sexual misconduct and school shootings with adolescents, emphasizing the need for parents and mentors to initiate these discussions proactively. Shielding children from harsh realities, she argued, only hinders their ability to navigate the world with confidence and resilience.
Rayna's insights resonated with me. Many of us live in circles or grew up in a home where uncomfortable conversations are avoided or silenced. She reminds us that by embracing discomfort and engaging in open dialogue, we empower ourselves and our kids to confront challenging issues head-on.
And I can’t close out my thoughts on this episode without pointing out two phrases Rayna shared that I loved: "Be for Rayna" and "Don't dimmer your shimmer." What I interpret this to mean, and what I hope to pass on to my girls, are the ideas that 1) you have to love yourself, and be your own cheerleader, and 2) be true to yourself – don’t squelch your voice, your talents, your drive, or what makes you special.
So in thinking about uncomfortable conversations – whether you’re thinking about workplace issues, chats with your kids, or teaching your kids to advocate for themselves in difficult situations – try to show up calm, from a place of emotional stability; actively listen; and know that you’re doing the right thing by tackling the hard stuff. The cost of silence is far greater than the discomfort of speaking up.
